Welcome to 50!

Turning 50 is a monumental event. I always imagined that at half a century I would be a wise, strong, balanced, kind, confident and powerful woman who had it all figured out.

As it turns out - I'm the same person I've always been. Getting to 50 is the same as getting to any age of your life. Just trying to be the best person you can be.

Cheers! G

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Can't always be fabulous

It's been a low energy day - so much so that I couldn't even work up the enthusiasm to go out and get my brand new iPhone 4 for zero dollars down and a thousand dollars a month for three whole years.

So I've decided to give in to the mood of the day and get into my fuzzy jammies, make salmon sandwiches with pickles (those ones that are already cut up into perfect slices by some thoughtful factory worker) and watch Game of Thrones until it's time to reasonably go to bed.

Can't always be fabulous, and sometimes you just have to accept those things you cannot change. 

Must have iphone

I really do want an iphone. I really do. Really bad.
I used to have one, but I gave it up because the monthly fees were too high when I had to add on phones for both my kidlets.
But I want it back!
I can get the iPhone 4 for free with a new service, and the iPhone 4s for $99, and of course, the new one is supposed to launch sometime this fall.

What to do? Save the hundred dollars? Gotta find out what the difference is between the two.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Sunset in west van

What a gorgeous evening, wine, salmon and friends on the deck.

New York Times: Significance of becoming 50

The Significance of Becoming 50 from the NYT

When I was in my 30's, a 50-year-old friend told me that you don't know anything until you are 50. I reach 50, and what does he tell me? ''You really don't know anything until you are 60.'' 
At 50, time is on fast-forward. A friend calls from London; we realize we have not spoken for a year. It seems like last week. 
Our culture is intent on taking the lines out of people's faces - surgically, with costly creams and with fear and trembling - when, in fact, the opposite should be the case. As artists know, if there is anything behind a face, that face improves with age. Lines show distinction and character: They show that one has lived, that one may know something.
At 20 and 30, we are like travelers in a foreign country, reading the guide book to learn how to behave, to learn when the post office is open. Trivia looms important; critical issues fade into a pastel background, unrecognized. 
Although both women and men suffer from the Cult of Youth, it is women who have adopted ''looking younger'' as the organizing principle of life. We women desperately mutilate ourselves: We bob our noses, pin back our ears, reshape our jaws, sandpaper our skin, enlarge or reduce our breasts, smooth out our necks, lift our faces and fannies and suction the flesh from our thighs. 
The irony is that the more we fight age, the more it shows. Paint on a 50-year-old face brings to mind a Gilbert and Sullivan comic figure. Smooth the cheeks, and suddenly the ear lobes and hands look out of place. Do we run around in October, painting the gold leaves green? 
It is crucial to be healthy, for pain wipes out the possibility for pleasure and severe pain removes the possibility of turning to the world outside the body. So we must establish the idea that it is important to look well, not to look young. It is no more a compliment to say you don't look your age than to say you don't look Jewish or you don't look like an American. 
Athletes decline with age, but doctors, lawyers, accountants, professors and musicians can only improve. Why would I be pleased to have the brains of a 35-year-old lawyer - to have lost 15 years of legal wisdom? 
The feminist movement - the glorious perception that women can be valued for our brains and not just for our faces - makes it possible for a woman to become 50 and not to grieve. It has enabled some lucky women of my generation to do meaningful work. At 50, one knows what was vague at 30: You will not have time to do everything, so you must do what is important. 
Although wide experience can be interesting, it is deep experience that gives the most pleasure and satisfaction. Seeking adventures in a wide variety of matters avoids the real issue - that of becoming highly skilled at a few. 
At 50, you know that if everything did not turn out as you had planned, it is not the fault of your parents. There are market forces at work. 
At 50, one realizes that many people will go to any extreme to avoid significant intellectual work. They lapse into the occult, search out dangerous and uncomfortable sports, turn to the soap opera of personal battles.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Everything starts somewhere

And so here I start. One year and about three months still I turn 50, and I wanted to make the half century birthday feeling much closer to the woman I want to be than I feel today.

Most of my birthdays have gone by without much introspection - I had a great party when I turned 40, but I didn't think about the age much.

I have started to feel some of the effects of getting older - the physical effects certainly do make me sit up and take notice. I am also noticing changes in how I think, how I feel about things, and what I want in life. I'm in the midst of life stage changes to do with kids growing up, to do with work and what it means, and what I want from it.

Then there's the whole menopause thing which I have just begun to explore - and I find myself shocked by how little information or talk there is out there about something that half of the world experiences.

My main goal for this blog is to connect with other women who are in a similar stage of life, not just the half century birthday, but the thoughts and feelings that come with having lived a while and seen some life.

Let's talk and laugh and maybe even help each other.